> "Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships."
- Sharon Stone
> "When the sun comes up, I have morals again." -
> Elizabeth Taylor
> "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."
- Barbara Bush (Former US First Lady)
> "Ah, yes, divorce..., from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet".
- Robin Williams
> "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
- Billy Crystal
> "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."
- Rod Stewart
> "On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars."
- Bruce Willis (On the difference between men and women)
> "My girlfriend always laughs during sex - no matter what she's reading."
- Steve Jobs (Founder: Apple Computers)
> "Hockey is a sport for white men. Basketball for black men. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps."
- > Tiger Woods
> "Things you'll never hear a woman say: 'My, what an attractive scrotum!'
- Patricia Arquette
> "Capital punishment turns the state into a murderer. But imprisonment turns the state into a gay dungeon-master."
- Rev. > Jesse Jackson
> "My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch."
- Jack Nicholson
> "Women complain about pre-menstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. "
- Roseanne
> "According to a new survey, women say they feel more comfortable undressing in front of men than they do undressing in front of other women. They say that women are too judgmental, whereas, of course, men are just grateful. "
- Robert De Niro
> "There's a new medical crisis. Doctors are reporting that many men are having allergic reactions to latex condoms. They say they cause severe swelling. So what's the problem?"
- Dustin Hoffman
> "There's very little advice in men's magazines, because men think, I know what I'm doing. Just show me somebody naked."
- Jerry Seinfield
> "Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you're in."
- Courtney Cox, Monica on "Friends"
> "I read somewhere that 77 per cent of all the mentally ill live in poverty. Actually, I'm more intrigued by the 23 per cent who are apparently doing quite well for themselves."
- Jerry Garcia (Grateful Dead)
> AND THE NUMBER ONE QUOTE IS :
"See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."
- Robin Williams
Objet : Call Girl > >
> > > > > > The Madam opened the brothel door to see a frail, elderly gentleman.
> > > > "Can I help you?" the madam asked.
> > > > "I want Natalie," the old man replied.
> > > > "Sir, Natalie is one of our most expensive ladies, perhaps someone > else..."
> > > > "No, I must see Natalie."
> > > > Just then Natalie appeared and announced to the old man that she charges $1,000 per visit.
Without blinking, the man reached into his pocket and handed her ten $100 bills. The two went up to a room for an hour, whereupon the man calmly left.
> > > > > The next night he appeared again demanding to see Natalie.
> > > > Natalie explained that no one had ever come back two nights in a row and that there were no discounts...it was still $1,000 a visit.
> > > > Again the old man took out the money, the two went up to the room and an hour later, he left.
> > > > When he showed up the third consecutive night, no one could believe it.
> > > > Again he handed Natalie the money and up to the room they went.
> > > > At the end of the hour Natalie questioned the old man: "No one has ever used my services three nights in a row. Where are you > from?"
> > > > The old man replied, "I'm from Philadelphia."
> > > > "Really?" replied Natalie. "I have family who lives there."
> > > > "Yes, I know," said the old man. "Your father died, and I'm your sister's attorney. She asked me to give this $3,000 to you."
> > > > (Some things in life are certain: taxes, death and being screwed by a lawyer)
Henrisch™ 2004 